Via Does Science

I use to think it was poison
but now I see that there are no mistakes
I can’t remember when I wasn’t a burden
but now I see the darkness coming
and it’ll hold me forever
I’ll bet that sometimes we make up our own demons
and I guarantee that it’s better this way
I’ll bet that I know the ending already.

I often dream of my heroes
the ones in stories who were all alone without any friends
sometimes I think of how stupid I am
to fall down the stairs and the buildings and the mountains again
and if I see the darkness coming
I don’t run very fast
cuz I’m slow, and I’m stupid
and I’ll always finish last
but I really do think that it’s better this way
So stay, please stay -
I’ll just stare at you.

once I dreamed about monsters
once I dreamed about beautiful parallel worlds
once I dreamed I was a serial killer
once I dreamed I was a very beautiful girl
once my heart was a diamond
so strong, resilient
so bright, so clean and pure
once my heart was a beautiful diamond
but now I’m really - I’m not so sure
cuz when I saw the darkness coming
I just let him in
and I said, “would you mind if I stood here and sinned?”
but I really do think that it’s better this way -
so go away
I won’t be there for you.

once my heart was a diamond

once my heart was a beautiful diamond

once my heart was a diamond

once my heart was a beautiful diamond

I only wish the best for you

I hope you have a nice yard with a lawn to mow

I don’t know why you asked me, either

was that suppose to soften the blow?

maybe not a blow - maybe more like a kiss

goodbye; shutting the door as you go.

suppose to be together - even then all on my own.

remember when I snuck around your yard at 5 am and dropped my phone?

were you even home?

not even words in person - must admit, that’s pretty low.

who knew that falling, crashing

sometimes happens really slow?

I don’t know why you asked me, either

was that suppose to soften the blow?

you still let me chat with you about this or that stupid show

remember when I snuck around? must admit, that’s pretty low.

remember when the words you said

rang through my head like an echo?

not even words in person - even then all on my own;

maybe not a blow, maybe more like a kiss on the telephone

I don’t know why

falling, crashing

sometimes happens very slow.

I only wish the best for you

I hope you have a lawn to mow;

and a nice little wife

cuz you’re just one of those guys

who deserves a good life.

You are not the only one embarrassed of

where and when we met

I try to leave those times behind but it’s sort of hard to forget

It’s funny how you told me that you don’t have any secrets

but I guess I can’t hold that against you

I loved the times you let me stay as you fell asleep

but why would you make promises you knew you couldn’t keep?

I’m scared of the resentment but you sow what you reap

maybe if we leave it it’ll just pass through

Some nights I worry that we’re going to burn out

(I wanna kiss you, kiss you, kiss you

you’re gonna wanna run away when I see you)

Some nights I worry when there’s not a lot to talk about

(You are my music, you are my darling - without you my life is so boring)

Some nights I worry that we’re going to burn out

(I’m gonna miss you, miss you, miss you

I’m gonna wanna run away if I can’t see you)

Some nights I worry when there’s not a lot to talk about

(cuz you’re my diamond, you are my something -

without you I have to go back to nothing)

Guess it’s hard for both of us to say what we intend

and guess I’ll never be as ****ing cool as all your friends

If only I knew what to do so I could make amends - 

guess I’ll close my eyes and keep on walking

I’ve heard that sometimes fire does fight fire underground

but I think usually more fire

makes fire stick around

I hope you know that you’re the best one that I’ve ever found

just as long as we’re still talking

I’m not very good at writing songs

and this came out more negative than I meant

thank god, thank god no one listens

to anything I post on the internet

Sometimes I wonder if we’re going to burn out

(I wanna hold you, kiss you, kiss you

You’re gonna wanna run away if I see you)

Sometimes I wonder if there’s not a lot to talk about

(I’m gonna miss you, the pain is just starting

don’t wanna say goodbye to my baby darling)

Some nights I worry that we’re going to burn out

(You’re my starlight, you are my something

without you my life is so nothing)

Some nights I worry when there’s not a lot to talk about

(my little wish for my lovely dearest - I hope the rest of your year

is the bestest)

Some nights I worry about too much to share

I guess I shouldn’t care so much but it’s hard not to care

nothing’s ever perfect and I guess that’s only fair

but when your day is rotten I just wish I could be there.

don’t tell me you love me
don’t tell me you’re always thinking of me
don’t tell me you love me
cuz you don’t
cuz you don’t even know me

why do you think you know who I am?

why do you say you know who I am?

why do you think you know who I am?

I doubt it

cuz you don’t even know me

can’t believe I put up with all your garbage

just because you were pretty

that’s not fair

ugly people have garbage, too

can’t believe I let you treat me like garbage

just because of your smile

that’s not fair

I’m just as much garbage as you

why did it take you so d*** long to say

thank you?

and who was I anyway

in your eyes?

why would you ever say something like that to me?

were you tricking yourself

trying to believe

your own pointless lies?

can’t believe I let the obsession take me

but I guess you were there

and I needed a void to fill

can’t believe I wasted those minutes

of dreaming

but I guess I was alone

and had lots of time to kill

can’t believe I ever thought that we could be together

it embarrasses me now

all the fallen branches

all the scarring debris

can’t believe I almost thought that I was worth something

but I guess that’s all gone

all a fading memory

why did it take you so d*** long to say

thank you?

and who was I anyway

in your eyes?

why would you ever say something like that to me?

were you tricking yourself

trying to believe

your own pointless lies?

goodbye

my beautiful friend

I’m glad I met you

but also glad

I won’t see you again

goodbye 

my beautiful dream

of caring for you

regardless of if you 

ever cared for me

can’t believe I put up with all your garbage